I played an aunt-cum-mum role for about 12 months and it’s continuing this year. I can’t even being to total the number of hours of conversation Patrick and I have had about parenting, or the conversations we’ve had with Miss 10 and the books and academic articles we’ve read on attachment, development and behaviour. I know posts that suggest ‘5 secrets to’, of ’10 lessons from…’ tend to do better but mine would have probably been a list of ‘100 things that kinda maybe could work…’ Instead I thought I’d write about the one, true lesson and realisation I came across 2014:
I do not need to include Miss 10 in everything that I do.
Simple isn’t it? I can’t tell you the number of times I put off doing things in the day because I thought it would be nice/fun/meaningful to have Miss 10 do them with me, or wait and do them as a family. What then happened is a few of the problems we’ve had with Miss 10 and adjusting simply made it impossible. And that meant I missed out on creating those memories for myself.
I’m not talking about big trips and fancy dinners. I’m talking about not going to the pool on my own because ‘Miss 10 would really enjoy that…’ or not spending the day at the beach on my own while she’s in school because she’d enjoy that too. The more I thought about it the more cross I got with myself. We do a lot with her. She’s been able to have experiences and opportunities that many adults haven’t had yet and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that I should feel like she’s missing out!
My biggest regret is not going swimming or to the beach more while Miss 10 is at school. I’m going to change that this year.