Bloggers talk about boundaries a lot. I’ve read a lot of posts about how bloggers manage what to keep private and what to make public (see this post by Martine from Make it Blissful). I’ve never really had to deal with this tension in my blogging because it’s really just been me. Even with issues that affected Patrick, it was very easy to talk about me and what I was dealing with, without involving him. Now I find myself in a situation where I not only have to manage this tension on the blog and in my online life but also in my personal life, in real life. To be honest, seeing these two lives as separate is a struggle because I’ve always tried to maintain an authenticity and level of honesty on this blog so that it never seemed like two separate worlds.
There are so many things I want to tell people about my life at the moment. It’s in a state of constant flux. Many of my readers know that Patrick and I have our 10 year old niece living with us. She’s been with us for over 8 months and in her heart is set on living with us forever. I’ve previously talked about the joys of parenting and they have been pretty joyful. There are some parts of the story though that I haven’t been able to tell. Not because I want to gloss over the not so nice parts – on the contrary – it’s in my very nature to want to tell all. But circumstances prevent me from doing so in this instance. The struggles we’re having are really centred around the tricky situation of having a child come to you at the age of 9, we’re not her parents, but we kind of are, we’re her aunt and uncle, she’s with us now, but won’t always be, she’s come with one set of values and a particular type of upbringing to another home…It’s endless. And we haven’t adopted her, her parents are still very involved in her life.
I feel like dealing with my infertility was easier because I was free to talk about it. All aspects of it. I decided what I wanted to share and what I didn’t. With this particular situation, the boundaries of what I can and cannot share have been set. There are so many people’s stories intertwined with mine. Miss 10’s, Patrick’s, Miss 10’s parents…In telling my story I expose so much of their stories and that’s not what they signed up for and it’s not fair. But where does that leave me?
Do you have similar tensions on your blog?
How are you navigating between what’s public and private?